Too Many Activities?

Today a major cause of stress and anxiety in children are too many activities. The article below was taken from nationally recognized Psychologist and award winning author, Dr. Susan Bartell. She has the advice you need to help your children explore their passions, realize their interest without becoming overwhelmed and wanting to quit in the process.

It can be tempting to let your child try every new activity. After all childhood is the best time to explore and grow—and there’s no way for her to discover a passion without trying many things. On the other hand, too much diversification can make it difficult for a child to immerse herself fully in a new experience and it can become confusing and stressful for her.

So, is it possible to encourage exploration and find your child’s passion, without her becoming overwhelmed and distracted? Yes! Below you’ll find 4 steps to ensure your child will become well-rounded while still discovering her passions and talents.

1. Nurture passion and interest. If your child shows an interest in, or talent for any given activity, support this by enrolling him in a class, after-school activity or school club that nurtures the interest. Pick one area of passion on which to focus. If an activity is seasonal (like a sport or a school play), you can have a replacement activity once the season is over. The replacement need not be another ‘passion’, but can be a new area that your child wants to explore (see #3 below). Stick to one area of passion at a time, or your child will become overwhelmed and lose interest in everything.
2. Balance is essential. Kids younger than ten don’t usually need more than two days a week to work at their area of interest. More than this can cause burnout and possibly an eventual rejection of the activity. In addition, make sure there is time for homework, play and exploration of other areas. Older children may become more intensely involved in an activity they love or that requires greater commitment to be competitive. This type of commitment is admirable and should be encouraged—but not at the cost of eating, sleeping, school work or a social life. As the parent, you must make sure your child is physically and emotionally healthy—even if she is an Olympic athlete or superstar in the making!
3. Encourage participation in a new activity. This can be a sport or creative art that your child has never tried, or even a less structured activity like baking or magic. Ask him to commit at least two or three months to the activity. This is enough time to achieve an initial level of mastery, so that the activity feels more like fun than work. After this period, he can decide whether he wants to continue or move on to something new.
4. Resist the urge to jump on everyone else’s ‘activity bandwagon’. Your child may come home each week with something new to try. Make a list of these activities and explain that she can try one at a time, giving each one at least a couple of months to see if she likes it. You’ll likely find that she’ll lose interest in many of the ideas on the list after her initial ‘nagging’.

While creating a schedule for your child that encourages extracurricular exploration, it is also important to keep in mind that for all children, there is a fine line between enough activity and too much! If you follow the five steps below you can be confident that you will strike exactly the right balance:

5 Rules to find the Perfect Balanced Schedule

1. Your child should have only one regular after-school activity on a given day (this includes mandatory activities like religious education). On a weekend day, it’s okay to have one mandatory activity (like religious school) and one fun activity (like soccer practice), as long as your child is happy about it.

2. The majority of elementary school age children or younger should not be formally committed to an activity more than two weekdays and one weekend day per week. Even kids who want to participate in an organized activity more often should be discouraged. They don’t realize that they are likely to ‘burn out’ physically and emotionally. The rare child will become professional or go to the Olympics!

3. Most kids can use one weekday off from any formal activities–so they have time to play with friends.

4. Younger kids should have activities scheduled right after school, so they aren’t tired and already settled in at home.

5. Once signed up for an activity, a child should be strongly encouraged not to miss a practice or session. It is important for kids to learn that they have a commitment to a team, that follow-through is important and that activities cost money. Therefore, except for truly extenuating circumstances, complaints of “I’m tired, can I skip this week” or “I don’t like this can I quit”, should be met with, “You need to stick it out until the end of the semester and then we can reconsider.”