Usually after everything is analyzed, kids should be made to stick with it and get over the hump at least for a while, but sometimes quitting can be the right choice. Read below to see a list of 3 Red Flags that will let you know it may be time to stop the music lessons.
RED FLAG #1: The child never initiates a practice session himself.
Kids 95% of the time (if not more…) need to be prompted or told to practice, but every once in a while they will go play or practice on their own. If you child never does this – it’s red flag #1.
RED FLAG #2: The child never seems to become involved/engaged in the process of practicing.
Once you get your child to the piano bench or practicing their instrument, sometimes they will lose track of time and play for longer than you’ve asked. This may not be often, but it does happen, the same as the first sign. Kids like to fight parents from all angles, weasel out of things and play on the iPad instead of doing homework or practicing, so there will be a struggle here from time to time, if not almost all the time. If they never play for a second longer than you make them – it’s probably a red flag.
**Be careful here, because every child is different, and age makes a difference! Teenagers are going to generally be “lazier” than 10 year olds, so make sure you don’t confuse normal behavior with a red flag!. Once I get her to the piano, my child frequently loses track of time and practices for longer than I might have asked her to. If your child is sullen and resistant for most of the practice session, that’s a red flag.
RED FLAG #3: The child never plays that recital piece they learned so well over and over and over, or they never seems proud of their accomplishments.
We grow in maturity when we accept that in order to get to the pleasure of playing well, we’ve got to work at it. But if playing well doesn’t excite your child or give any sense of pride, that’s a big red flag!
Beyond Red Flags: 4 Ways to know it’s Time to Quit
You’ll need to weigh which lesson is more important: Helping your child learn to stick it out, or the realization that some activities just aren’t the right match.
- Stress. Is it stressful enough to cause concerning behavioral changes in your child?
- Joylessness. Is it mostly cheerless for the child? Has he stuck with the task for the required amount of time and just lost interest? Then it’s time to move on.
- Beyond abilities. Despite his efforts, the activity is too difficult for his current abilities.
- Gave it his best shot. Your child tried his hardest but things aren’t improving.